Huffy's posts

M is for Mom

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I always think of how amazing my own mom is on Mother’s Day. As for me – yeah, I’ve been a mom for three years now. It didn’t hit me until last year.

I was walking through the aisles at Target and came across a really cool, white coffee mug with gold, glammy designs. I turned it around and it read “MOM.” Ha. I remember giving floral Precious Moments Mother’s Day mugs to my mom when I was young.

I loved the mug and found myself staring at it for about a minute. I could get this mug… I am a mom, right?

A week later, I picked up my son from school and he greeted me with a pink bag that said “Happy Mother’s Day!” He was so excited to show me what was inside. It was a sweet card with fingerprints, along with a wooden daisy that he painted pink – all by himself.

I gave him a big hug and kiss, thanking him. On the drive home he was singing in the back as I dozed off into a thought-daydream again. I remember giving my mom all kinds of funky, silly, hand-made crafty items for Mother’s Day every year. When I made them I was so proud of myself. As I got older, I wondered why my mom still collected all our project presents. They did not go with the home décor, and they definitely weren’t enhancing the home’s look. They actually looked completely out of place.

Finally, it hit me. However they looked, they were beautiful to my mom. They were made with love.

The first thing I did when I went home was put the pink wooden daisy in a spot where I could see it every day and smile – on my modern dresser next to my fancy perfumes. It is my son’s first actual Mother’s Day present that he made with his own hands.

This year I got a hand-painted vase and gem-covered wind chimes.

I love all my presents almost as much as I love my little boy.

Stories

Little, little rascal

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A young mom of two little ones had a neighborhood-known bed of orchids growing in one of her kitchen’s bay windows.

A total of 13 pots had more than 100 different orchids blooming at one time. People would drive by her house just to peek in on her beautiful flowers.

One Tuesday, the young mom woke up and was making eggs for her kiddos prior to zooming them over to school, then zooming off to work. As she flipped the eggs, she noticed one of her orchid plants was a bit tilted. She started to ponder over why it was tilted, but got distracted by her son calling for mom. She never got back to finishing her thought process on the tilted plant.

On Wednesday, the young mom was making eggs for kiddos again, when she noticed a couple black marks on her counter next to her tilted plant. Her focus again shifted from the tilted plant as she started scrubbing down the marks, thinking maybe somehow soil from the plants scattered out.

On Thursday, the young mom went on with her routine when her eye caught the tilted plant again. She reached out to straighten the plant. She held the pot with one hand, wiggled the plant’s stem at its root with the other.

Out jumped a squirrel – right next to her hot stove. It just missed the eggs.

The young mom screamed two mighty times. The squirrel jumped down, ran across the kitchen and speedily made its way into the basement.

Ultimately, an expert came to make sure the squirrel was returned to its natural habitat.

 

Carl Wilki, Owner of Carl’s Wildlife Control in Elmhurst, Illinois

Carl traps all kinds of animals, including squirrels, raccoons, skunks, snakes, beavers and chipmunks.

“Typically, most of the animals that are actually in homes, it’s by accident,” he said. “They don’t want to be there. More often or not, they usually fall out the chimney or come out of the furnace.”

Carl encourages homeowners to keep the flu of the fireplace closed, as well as having a chimney cap.

“If the flu is open on the fireplace, the animal falls through to the bottom,” he said. “It’s a free-fall. Once they’re at the bottom they just try to find a way out.”

 

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this short story, excluding interviews, are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Stories

Public washroom struggles (Part I)

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Kendra was just about done using the ladies room. She thoroughly washed her hands, dried them, then prepared to head out.

As she approached the washroom’s main door, she realized she should grab another clean paper towel to pull the door handle with to avoid getting any germs on her freshly washed hands.

She headed back toward the sinks, and unexpectedly heard a big thump from inside a stall.

Kendra froze. She had no idea what the noise could have been.

Next, she saw a woman reaching from her stall into another stall. The lady then started crawling on the floor from under her stall into the next stall.

Kendra was genuinely concerned about the lady, but was also hesitant to check on her.

Kendra: “Ma’am, can I help you with anything,?” she asked, truly hoping the lady wouldn’t actually need any help with whatever her struggle was.

Lady (Margo): “Oh, dear. I’m too embarrassed to ask for help.”

What had happened?

Margo was swamped at work. She had to use the washroom two times earlier in the day but didn’t go because she couldn’t find a moment to step away from her endless projects. When she finally did, she just wanted to take a quick breather in the privacy of her very own stall.

As Margo relieved herself, she saw a tiny little white feather on her sock. She leaned down to grab it, and her wig fell off.

Margo panicked. She reached for her wig with each hand, but couldn’t quite grab it since she was still seated on the toilet.

Next, she tried grabbing it with her pointy pumps, but accidentally kicked it into the next stall.

Thankfully nobody was in there.

She knew two things:

First, that she had to get that wig before someone came into that next stall.

Even more importantly, she had to get that wig before she could even think about making her way back to the office.

 

Rella Grubek, owner of Salon 21 in Wheaton, Illinois

Rella said there are a couple different ways to ensure a wig doesn’t fall off.

“You want the wig to be as close to the head size as possible,” she said. “This is usually done by measuring the head and seeing what fits best.”

Wigs have adjustments that can be tightened or loosened. Other things to consider are tape, glue and no-slip strips.

“I’m certified in fitting, and I can help people on all levels,” Rella said. “It’s a matter of talking to the client and finding out what will work best for them.”

Rella said a lot of her patients are busy business women who don’t have time to make their hair while traveling. They get numerous wigs with different hairstyles, and love wearing them.

A little more than half of Rella’s clients wear a wig for medical purposes.

“We spend a lot of time to make sure that when my clients walk out of here, they are feeling sassy and confident, and that they can beat whatever problem it is that they’re facing,” she said.

 

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this short story, excluding interviews, are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Stories

Perfume problems (Part II)

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Ruth, a petite 74-year-old, was still as social today as she was when she was 16.

Her brunches, luncheons, teas and dinners kept her on top of her game.

While she was always one of the more popular women among her circle of friends, she noticed some of the newer women wouldn’t converse with her. She went out of her way to talk to them, but after a couple quick seconds, they would make an excuse to leave.

She asked her older friends if they were having the same problem. They said no.

Ruth, again, went out of her way to welcome the newer women. This time she invited them over for tea.

All the older women Ruth has been friends with for a long time came. All the newer women kindly declined.

Ruth finally got frustrated and confronted one lady, Margie.

Ruth: “Margie, I’ve gone out of my way to be friendly and welcoming toward you, but it seems you’re always running away.”

Margie: Silently started at Ruth, then sighed.

Ruth: “What’s the problem?”

Margie: “Ruth. You’re a wonderful, fun person.”

Ruth: “Ok, then?”

Margie: “Ruth, your perfume. It’s very strong. How many squirts do you use?”

Ruth: “You know, decades ago I only used two. Lately I’ve found myself using 17-18. I got new bottles and everything thinking the old ones were losing their scent. I think they just don’t make the same quality of product that they did when I was young.”

 

Sally Augustin has a PhD in Psychology, is Principal at Design with Science and lives in La Grange Park, Ill.

With age, people tend to season their food a bit more, and spray a bit more perfume or cologne, Sally said.

“Everything you’ve got doesn’t work as well,” she said. “For them to smell it, they tend to wear more.”

Still, Sally said it’s not always easy to analyze.

“Sometimes people’s noses don’t work that well and the sensory system doesn’t work as well,” she said. “Other times, they might just have a simple cold.”

 

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this short story, excluding interviews, are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Stories

Pinky and the blue hues

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Julian always loved bright colors, and sported them all beautifully, but pink was his all-time favorite.

Any shade or hue of it.

On his happiest of days, Julian wore his pink bi-focal glasses, pink watch, pink socks, pink belt and a hot pink sweater to top it all off.

Once he got to work, he enthusiastically took out his lucky pink notepad and pink pen. And he loved using his pink post-its for short lists.

Finally, after the work day ended, he came back to his home – where he was greeted by pink carpeting, pink printed walls, pink home décor accents to match the interior of his house, and of course his pink bed sheets at bedtime.

Julian’s grown kids and grandchildren came over to check on him every weekend. For years they tried shifting Julian’s color preferences. He didn’t have any interest in their suggestions, and slowly started adding pink touches to their childhood rooms.

Julian’s six children finally gave into his color preferences and passions.

Now they bring him pink flowers every time they visit. In return, they always get pink Hershey kisses on their way out.

 

Sally Augustin has a PhD in Psychology, is Principal at Design with Science and lives in La Grange Park, Ill.

“In our culture, pink is associated with femininity,” Sally said. “However, if you really look at pink, generally the pinks people use actually have a lot of blue in them.”

“Pinks would probably be quite a relaxing color,” she said. “All this pink would help keep it all together.”

Sally said generally, but not always, people who are extroverted prefer more energizing colors, while people who are introverted prefer a calmer, environmental experience.

 

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this short story, excluding interviews, are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Stories

Shower fail

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Fatora, a heavily overweight woman, had been smelling something horrible for days. Regardless of how many times she showered, she still smelled a horrendous stench.

A week later, the odor got worse. After a google search led her imagination to jump to all kinds of conclusions, Fatora decided to visit the Emergency Room.

Doctors found a six-inch toad hibernating in between one of her fat rolls. Alive.

Apparently Fatora had gone swimming in a pond several weeks back.

 

Bret A. Nicks, MD, Spokesperson for the American College of Emergency Physicians & Associate Professor of Emergency Medicine at Wake Forest School of Medicine

Dr. Bret said it is not uncommon to find various items or debris in skin folds of morbidly obese patients that struggle to maintain good hygiene.

“While a living creature would be unusual, I have found missing clothing items, small electronics, food items (like donut holes or hot dogs), along with unidentifiable debris in these large pannus areas,” he said.

“In those situations, cleaning the area and ensuring no secondary skin infection or injury is essential – followed closely by discussions around family/friend assistance with cleaning or perhaps a need for a social work home visit to assess the living situation – all the while reiterating the need for the patient and their primary care provider to work toward a healthy living plan that changes the scenario completely.”

 

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this short story, excluding interviews, are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Stories

Perfume problems (Part I)

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Janie was a fresh, new, millennial grad – upbeat, self-expressive and super tech-savvy.

She was also a bit obsessed with her perfume. Every single day of her life, for as long as she could remember, she sprayed one squirt.

Since she started her new job as an entry level architect, she felt the need to spray a little extra to keep herself motivated throughout the day.

Five squirts became her new standard. Every time she’d take a deep, full breath – there it was: a fusion of citrus and floral. The refreshing scent made Janie smile ear to ear.

One afternoon, while she was in the zone and on deadline, Janie’s manager (who sat right next to her) came over to her desk.

Delora (manager): Janie, I have a question.

Janie: Sure, Delora. What can I help with? (Janie was anxious to get more projects on her plate).

Delora: What perfume are you wearing?

Janie: Oh, it’s Joe Malone’s Nectarine Blossom & Honey. Isn’t it just amazing?!

Delora: I need you to stop wearing it. Every day at work I’m miserable with migraines, and when I go home I puke at least two times.

Janie: Um (totally offended)… I’ll try.

Janie was devastated she couldn’t wear her light, airy perfume. Still, she knew how tough it was to get her dream job so she sucked it up and used only her deodorant.

The next day, as Janie walked to the printer, she smelled another woman’s horrid perfume – Christian Dior’s Poison. (Yes, the one old ladies wear).

“How come Delora doesn’t smell that,” Janie wondered while quickly rushing past the unpleasant smell. To top it off, the ‘Poison’ lady sat in front of Delora.

A couple weeks later, Janie was working hard on another project and Delora came up to her desk with another question:

Delora: Janie, I noticed you’ve been leaving five minutes early all week.

Janie: Um (totally confused, again) I’ve also been coming in earlier and have been working on weekends.

Delora: Well I don’t care how much time you put in – office hours are office hours. You need to stay until the day is over.

Janie: Okay, Delora.

The next day, Janie put on six squirts of her perfume and enthusiastically made her way into the office.

She was certain to abide by the company’s office hours.

 

Sheila Valesano, Corporate Human Resources leader who resides in Illinois

“One employee can request another employee to stop wearing certain fragrances, but that employees needs to be prepared to share a bit about their chemical sensitivity,” Sheila said. “One of the main issues is clarification. Is the request made because the employee doesn’t like the fragrance, or does the employee have an allergic reaction to specific types of fragrances?”

Sheila said most employees understand fragrance sensitivity issues and would comply with a simple request. If not, the employee can inform their manager.

“Since there are many scents that are found in the workplace – from carpet cleaners, restroom fragrances, soaps, paint and personal fragrances like perfumes, lotions, deodorant, nail polish, anti-bacterial gels, hair spray and so much more – it is important to determine what scent is causing the problem,” Sheila said. “The manager would need to find out if the problem is tied to a health issue like allergies, or if it is a matter of personal preference.

“It is not appropriate to criticize or restrict an individual’s personal fragrance choice,” Sheila discussed. “However, if the employee has a chemical sensitivity, then the fragrance is creating a health issue for them.”

Perfume is generally not a problem in small doses, she said.

“Many of us have walked through the cloud of perfumes in the fragrance section of department stores, and it can be overwhelming,” Sheila said. “So one way prevent a problem is to use small amounts of a fragrance, or none at all.”

Companies have responded to chemical sensitivities by providing efficient air purification systems, fragrance free hygiene products, workstation relocation, schedule changes and reducing the employee’s exposure to the fragrance.

For more information: An Office Building Occupant’s Guide to Indoor Air Quality

 

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this short story, excluding interviews, are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

 

 

 

Updates

Thank you for a wonderful 2015

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Dear Whippples followers,

Whippples launched in 2015, and oh what fun it has been.

While Whippples was in the making for a long time, the blog took off in 2015 with the first short story post in August. Since then, the blog has had more than 10,000 hits this year.

I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for your extensive support and readership. Whippples is successful because of you.

I wish each of you a very happy and safe holiday season with your families and loved ones.

Coming soon: many more short, flash-fiction stories in 2016 and on. Stay tuned!

 

Best regards,

Hafsa Mahmood

Founder

Stories

Geese police, please!

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Luke loved Chipotle. He left his office’s huge campus almost daily for a big, fat, spicy burrito.

One crisp spring day, Luke parked his car and started walking back toward his building. After about a third of his walk, he noticed a huge, sad-looking goose walking around in the parking lot.

“Is he lost,” Luke thought?

For some reason, Luke quacked at it. He was only trying to socialize in hopes to brighten the goose’s day.

Before Luke could even blink again, the goose started walking toward him – faster and faster.

Luke held on to his Chipotle bag tight – worried the goose was after his food – and started walking fast.

Luke probably only blinked twice more and noticed the goose was running toward him. Now Luke was obviously running, too.

“Thank God I have my badge around my neck instead of in my pocket,” Luke thought as he plotted his safe escape.

For a second, Luke no longer heard the webbed-foot steps. He kept running, but quickly looked over his shoulder to make sure the goose wasn’t hurt.

The goose was up in the air, flying toward Luke – only about a foot behind him.

He certainly wasn’t prepared for it, but it happened. Luke felt a beak hit the back of his head, a long neck against the back of his neck, and flappy wings all the way across his back.

He screamed, but kept running.

Finally, he was only a few feet from his door. When he quickly looked back again, he saw the goose had fallen off his back and was getting up – preparing for strike two.

Luke quickly swiped his badge, hustled in and slammed the door behind him.

He went straight to the safety manager to let her know of the goose threat.

Later that afternoon, as he was indulging in his burrito, he had dozens of visitors asking if he was OK. Apparently, almost everybody in the office witnessed the goose attack from the fully-windowed, glass building.

 

Susan Kinney, Owner of Geese Police of Wisconsin

“If you encounter an aggressive goose, stand your ground,” Susan said. “You never turn your back on a nasty goose. You stand still and raise your arms so that you look much bigger than they are.”

Susan said geese become aggressive only during mating season, which is usually in the spring.

“Stay away from mad geese,” she said. “I’ve had geese fly into me to keep me away from their nest.”

Geese police of Wisconsin use highly trained border collies to keep geese out of properties. Each employee has one dog that’s specifically trained for goose control. Susan buys them trained.

“We don’t remove them, we don’t touch them,” Susan said. “They’re federally protected and you can’t touch them.”

 

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this short story, excluding interviews, are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Stories

Karma is a…

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Jacob is usually a kind driver. He always adheres to the road rules and is always nice to nearby drivers.

One Thursday, Jacob was going through a rough breakup and left work early.

While driving, an elderly lady gave her left turn signal in an attempt to get into Jacob’s lane. Any other day, Jacob would have let her into his lane. On Thursday, he thought about letting her in, but just didn’t feel like it. He kept driving at his pace.

The old lady ended up getting into his lane behind him.

Seconds later, a huge flock of geese flew over Jacob’s car and decided it was a good time for a big poop. About 30 huge chunks of green and white goodies landed all over Jacob’s car.

If only Jacob had let the old lady in, maybe she would have needed a car wash instead of him.

 

Vickie Marino, Psychic at Melrose Psychic in Los Angeles

“The measure you put out is what you get,” Vickie said referring to Karma. “Then people wait and think, ‘what did I do to get this?’”

Vickie said Karma usually comes from another source.

“All energy, positive or negative, goes directly into the universe of goodness,” Vickie said. “People’s actions and words have great power and whatever comes around goes around.”

Still, Vickie said this may be a very minor case of karma, if even.

“There are bigger, bigger scales than that,” she said.

 

 

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